Tired of carry that same old boring leather briefcase to meetings? Do you wish you could carry something a little bit… fresh-er? Cutting-edge? Raw? Well, now you can!
Enter the Bacon Briefcase! Made from two solid slabs of premium-cut bacon, this case is guaranteed to turn heads and spark conversation. It protects your documents, boosts your ego, and overwhelms the carrier with a sense of superiority.
Yes, you will certainly be unique when carrying this beauty. With it’s defined marbling patterns and suede leather handle, you’ll be the envy of executives everywhere. They’ll marvel at your style, your poise, and your confidence.
Ladies, don’t worry, you haven’t been totally left out of this either. While there is currently no exclusive Bacon solution for your transportation and storage needs, a nice alternative is this item featured here: The Meat Purse.
Sure, it might not be bacon, but meat purse is comprised entirely of top-quality lean ground beef. Meat purse will keep your valuables secure, your outfit stylish and fresh, and your side gently chilled.
It should be noted that Bacon Fort does not recommend carrying the Bacon Briefcase or Meat Purse in close proximity to any carnivorous animal and strongly cautions against utilizing either on any beach or other area populated heavily with Seagulls.